Ever wondered what race commentators say...

...during the advert breaks?

I'm pretty certain that Magnus Backstedt has a jolly good cough - he seems to have been suffering a lot this year - and it's a fair bet that cups of coffee are collected, there might well be toilet visits, and possibly fag breaks.

But I've often wondered if they have little disputes among themselves -

"Oy, you, don't contradict me when I say that Andy Schleck is coming into form!"
"Look mate, I'm entitled to my own opinion!"

Or:

"Come on, I need some more input from you, I seem to be doing all the work."
"Well, don't ask me stupid questions about non-race related subjects, then, I'm only here to talk about the racing!"

Lately we've had the new partnership of Declan Quigley and Sean Kelly, and they are turning out to be a really good team. Declan seems to have the knack of getting Sean to talk - in the past, when teamed with David Harmon, Sean often didn't say very much.  Mind you, this could be due to Harmon's habit of posing very long, involved questions, and of giving both options for answers along with the questions.

For example:

Harmon: "So, Sean, we're seeing that Sky are using all their team to pull Bradley Wiggins back to the group, do you think they are hoping that Brad is going to recover and win the race, so they are prepared to sacrifice all the others for that goal, or is it possible that all this effort could be wasted if Bradley is not fit to continue, as they have now gone from having three riders in the top ten, to having none."
Sean: "Errrr..."

Declan just asks a question: "Sean, what do you think Sky are playing at?" and lets Sean answer it in his own words. And Sean now gives nice long, detailed answers, which are very interesting, and often very useful. Declan is also very respectful of Sean, never failing to introduce him with phrases like "that legend of cycling" and so on, which makes me think that they have a nice relationship, with just a little amount of hero-respect on one side.

But what do they talk about during the breaks?

On a recent stage of the Giro d'Italia, my wish came true, as Declan and Sean were clearly unaware that the advert break was over, and that they were back live on air.

Here's how it went: they were discussing the electronic gear shifter, as the race leader had just had to change bikes while leading the race..talking quietly between themselves...

Declan:  "You'd've thought they'd change the battery, or put the cable back in by now, something simple like that, pfff  "
Sean:  " Alto piano, that means hill of Slow, doesn't it. Ahh, great names."
Declan: (not interested ) " Two minutes and twenty, not a hope "
Sean:  (clearly still bemused by the Italian names) " Chusa Porte - that meant closed, strong - err,  "

There is a long silence.

Declan:  " Soooo - Bradley? Where is he? Looks like his number.. .looks like his shoes.... looks like his style. "

Another pause.

Declan:  " Evans, have we seen him? Pelazotti still there - for what it's worth, he's of little importance... Maglia Rosa, Evans, can't see, urr, " (presumably ticking off a list) "Still don't see him..."
Sean:  " There he is, look. " (presumably he points.) "Yup."

Another pause.

Sean:  " Three from Lampre MEREEEEEDA " (very over-enunciated)
Declan: *laughs* " Yeah, get it right,  " (sub-text: "Otherwise Cougar Girl will take the mickey") "Four from Sky, two from Movistar, two from AG2R - "
Sean:  " THREE from AG2R, two from Astana... "
Declan:  " Cadel, ok, thirty-five, " (counts)

Very long pause...

Declan:  *suddenly in strong voice* "Stage Ten of the Giro d'Italia....  "