Sat Nav will never be the same again

Everyone remember Mad Bad Dave Zabriskie?

OK, he's not a Leopard Trek rider, he rides for Garmin, but he's a real character, and quite bonkers. Who can forget his memorable singing-while-applying-groin-cream video?

If you really can't remember it, I've kindly embedded it (below) so that you can relive the moment.

He has his own brand of cyclist-sore-patch-reduction cream, called DZ-nuts (for some reason I have just mis-typed that as DZ-buts, not once but three times) and he was rumoured to be producing a version for female cyclists - who apparently also suffer from chafing in the billowy portions - which, it was suggested, would be called DZ-lips. Thankfully, it was named "Bliss"  instead. Less catchy, but considerably less tacky!

Here you go:  and if you watch it right to the end - it's ok, it's not very long, and it doesn't get any "worse" than when it starts - you can see Tyler Farrar giving him a very strange look. Which could be due to DZ merely wiping his application hand on a tissue, rather than washing it....



So, what's he up to in the off-season?

Apparently he has just spent some time recording voice-overs for Garmin's SatNav system, as an optional extra for users to purchase - or possibly even to download for free. Here's a small sample:



Can you imagine that? My phone has sat-nav, and there is a nice calm lady who issues instructions, and who never, ever gets cross if I go the wrong way. (Well, would you take a left into a dead-end street at the start of a journey? No, and nor would I. SatNavs should always have intelligence applied to them.)

I can't quite imagine navigating with Dave Z yelling at me in American!

There is an option for a "Surfer Dude" voice, which was very funny for about ten minutes.....

....oh but wait, I'm having an idea......

(somewhere in Lux, a phone rings)
CG: "Andy, my pet, what are you doing this afternoon?"
Andy: "Errr, training, of course."
CG: "No you're not, it's raining and it's November, you've just returned from holiday, there is no way you are going out on the bike."  (accusing tone of voice)
Andy: (hangs his head) "Well, maybe not, sorry."

CG: "OK, so what are you doing, really?"
Andy: "Oh, not much - Frankie and Martine have come round, we might head up to the folks' for dinner later on...."
CG: "Great! Can you get yourself down to the recording studio?"
Andy: (puzzled) "Errr, yes... but why?"
CG: "Oh, haven't you heard, Dave Zabriskie has done a set of guidance voice for Garmin."
Andy: "For sure, I read it this morning. "
CG: "So..... we thought it would be nice if you did one for us!"
Andy: "Really? You think that I should?"
CG: (breathes enthusiastically) "Oh yes, it would be nice, go on, please?"
Andy: "OK! For sure! "

There you go, definitely a best-seller. Wouldn't you want those dulcet tones telling you which way to go?