Always going to be an odd race to watch, as to me a Basque is an undergarment of a certain style, normally underwired (screams of "no! no!" from me) (I hate underwiring) and generally in tasteful male-oriented shades of red and black. So every time the commentators use the word Basque, everyone watching on the sofa made a gesture with two hands, indicating an hour-glass figure. I'd like you to do the same.
So, tour of the Basque (*makes gesture*) Countries, or "Vuelta Ciclista al Pais Vasco" as it is catchily known.
Here's our strong, strong, team: and talking of strong, Jakob looked really strong on the first day.
Not that we could see all that much of him or the other Leopards, as the camera-bike work was just about the worst so far this year!
Hello clouds - nice shot of the sky: Hello trees - nauseating swoop as though dropping the camera. Hello wing-mirror, ooh look, I can see myself, hello mum.
Eventually it settled down, and Our Boys were nice and visible, but there wasn't any climbing, and Frandy just disappeared. Where are they? Safely in the peloton, apparently.
Day 2: Garmin on the front. David Harmon, commentating, said of David Millar "To ride a race like this, you have to be in tip-top condition." LLB said "If he starts talking about tufts, we'll know he reads your blog!"
I don't think he does....
Anyway, with 3.5km to go we had the final climb, and Frankie has a go - "Go, Frankie!". He didn't win the stage, but he came in the first group just 2 seconds down: as did Andy, amazingly, even though I hadn't seen him at any stage in the last bit. And I was looking, trust me!
Lovely rolling terrain, looking a lot like the Peak District of the UK. My contemplation of the scenery was interrupted by the commentators discussing the "fact" that Fabian should change his body composition if he wanted to win le Tour. Shock! What would Cristin and Eli and all the other Fabu fans say? Change his body composition? No! No! He might end up looking like Frankie:
Not much Leopard action today, with Andy sitting 12th, Frankie 14th.
This day, I noticed that Garmin were riding in the usual blue and white hats that make them pretty much indistinguishable from Team Leopard Trek, Sky, etc.
Yet, just one day after this race ended - on the 10th April - they were riding in Paris-Roubaix with the new all-blue helmets, which are a huge improvement and mean that it is now easy to spot Garmin from the front, as it is easy to spot Movistar (pronounced mauve-ey-star as I now know, not mooovey-star, oops) with their lime green topknots.
Leopards, take note! Change your hat colour!!
Day 4: David Harmon, commentating, said at 54km to go "If you're just joining us, you've missed absolutely nothing."
Hmm, I see what he means. And I can see what people mean when they say that cycling is boring to watch: on these long, flattish stages, nothing happens!
They're not going to let go of that, are they?
Although nothing seems to have come of it so far: the UCI haven't made any further moves to ban the wearing of a hydration system in the underslung position. But then, as we know, the wheels of the UCI grind slowly, slowly...
Today, the camera-bike was not making any friends: first he stirs up a huge amount of dust and dirt, annoying the Carrots (Euskaltel) so much that they wave fists and shout at him: then he blocks a Carrot, nearly causing a crash:, and definitely causing annoyance: then a Katusha rider has to shout at him to get out of the way. And this was all on the flat!
After a lot of pedalling, Tondo ("Yay! Go Tondo!") and Frankie ("Yay! Go Frankie!") made a break, Frankie riding with his jersey open to show that there was no illegal aerodynamic enhancements hidden away in there. Tondo pulls away! No-one in the chasing group responded: Frankie was caught by the group, Tondo leads over the top but the catch is made, boo. Having just discussed the apparent fact that both Andy and Frank were not looking strong, suddenly Andy comes shooting out of the trees - we were on helicopter footage only at this point, presumably the camera-bike had been clubbed to the ground by irate cyclists - and races for home. Unfortunately he had Vinokorouv ("boo") sucking his wheel all the way, and Andy ended up with 11th place in the stage.
Day 5: In the words of David Harmon "One of those days when nothing happens." Nothing happened until 2.4kms to go. No wonder the UCI are trying to find ways to make cycling more interesting for the casual viewer.
So, at 2.4km to go, the previously invisible Steve Cummings of Sky took off like a rocket: what we call "a TV break". A Carrot had a dig as well, but the stage went to Oscar Freire, as the commentators had promised all the way through the race. However, not for long: Sammy Sanchez gave him a helping push, apparently, and the pair of them were demoted and sent to the back of the peloton. That's a bit like the naughty corner, but there are fewer comfy chairs.
Andy still sitting in 11th, only 18 seconds down, but the last day is a time trial....
Day 7: ITT.
We join it part-way through, as always: Jensi is sitting at 7th position, go Jensi! and Jakob at 3rd, Yay! Jakob!
Something strange happened: Radioshack 8 (Rovne) was doing strange leg movements - a momentary knees-out gesture. Cramp? Skin-suit pinching in an awkward place? Trapped hair? Will we ever find out?
Will we therefore see great things of Rovne? Who knows.
Meanwhile, Johan V-S is famous for more than That Moment (*sighs*), apparently a few years ago he ran over a cat.
See picture.
Caption: (from the cat, of course) "I can has tubular?"
(Note: if this means nothing, you need to learn about LOLcats, who have inexplicably bad grammar and speeling, but extremely good humour. Wups, 10 mins later, after a quick digression and four pages of lolcats, I'm baaaack!)
Back to the cycling: another strange expression from the commentators: "Kessiakov is carrying a bit of timber this year." Hmmm. Presumably this year's slang for "putting on a bit of weight." Or possibly "building up a bit of muscle"? This must be coffee-moment-provokingly funny for all you lot in America where the non-related expression "to have wood" is well known.
Oh, pay attention, it's Chris "Face of Pain" Anker Sorensen. We laugh as he wobbles off the launching ramp.
David Harmon is still calling Jakob "Fool-slang", this is getting annoying. I might even have to ask LLB for permission to use his laptop to Tweet in and tell him so.
How odd - Sammy Sanchez has just done that very same gesture with the knees! It must be a time trial thing... anyone know what it's all about? Suggestions welcomed.
Andy finally finishes his TT, and guess what, he's looking back over his shoulder again. If the wind changes, his neck will get stuck in that position, you know.
And then it's all over, phew, we ought to get medals for endurance. Andy is 12th in the GC, and according to the Team Leopard site, they are happy that he's "riding well for this time of year."
And if they are happy, then we are happy!
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